Putin Watch

Hello, fellow patriots!  It’s time once again to look out for Vladimir Putin!  He’s the sneaky, all-powerful no-goodnick behind all of America’s woes, and the real reason that we have his lackey Donald Trump as our President!  Remember: don’t listen to those people calling for arcane things like “evidence” — they’re all Putin stooges!  Here’s the latest in nefarious Putin news…

Putin has done it again!  This time, he’s hacked the Oscars!  We were warned by The Guardian – a not-American paper, yes, but it’s from the same country where Christopher Steele is from, and thus, reliably anti-Putin – that it was coming, and sure enough, Last Man in Aleppo didn’t win the Oscar for Best Documentary.  Small wonder considering the tremendous Putin-imposed media blackout, forcing the struggling filmmaker to screen his documentary feature at places of little money, power, and exposure, such as the World Economic Forum in Davos.  Useful idiots for Putin claim that after The White Helmets won an Oscar last year, perhaps “Russian meddling” isn’t that pernicious – but we know better, don’t we?  This year, after Putin’s diabolical campaign, Last Man in Aleppo lost out to…Icarus, a documentary about Russian sports doping.  Yes, another crafty display of four-dimensional chess on the part of Vladimir Putin!

Item!  Remember the pro-Putin hackers caught on film by the Dutch intelligence service?  They’ve disappeared!  That is the only logical conclusion, as the FBI’s patriotic indictment of the thirteen Russian Facebook trolls who elected Donald Trump didn’t seem to include any hackers from the Dutch film, which really and truly exists, despite never being actually seen by anyone.  (Only Putin lackeys would question such a thing.  Don’t be a Putin lackey!)  Remember, this film showed WHERE THE HACKERS WERE SITTING…sorry, difficult to keep from launching into all-caps when the discovery is this breathtaking!  (This was later “updated” in the Post to showing “hackers” walking in and out of a “curved hallway” – again, not that anybody saw the video anyway, but rest assured, we got our suspects!)

The fact that these hackers have never been mentioned again can mean only one thing — they’ve been “disappeared”…by none other than Putin himself!  Remember: when investigations don’t go as planned, there’s a reason – and that reason is Vladimir Putin!

And we have more news: Putin has struck again, this time in the Italian elections!  Experts agree!  Just like in France!  And 21 of our states!  As a result, Italy has a hung parliament and Italian politics is dysfunctional for the first time in history!

And of course, we have proof!  Here’s a detailed analysis of an online sockpuppet campaign that dwarfs the efforts of the so-called Internet Research Agency, and of course, it all goes back to…uh, Shareblue?  David Brock, Sally Albright, the rest of the Hillary brigade…?

Never mind that!  Look over there!  Putin hacked the Olympics!!  Oh, when will it end?

Stay vigilant, America!  Be suspicious of anyone outside the norm!  Remember: any non-mainstream opinion – especially those which suggest that our patriotic nation might have serious problems, or that our leaders, in either of the duopoly parties, may have become detached from public opinion and too isolated to develop solutions for the vast majority of Americans – is from a Putin stooge!  Report them at once to a Senate investigative committee!

More news later, on any real, patriotic, and above all commercial mainstream news source!

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