April Madness

Well, let’s take a look at the news.  Starbucks is selling crack, Jonah Goldberg flies to Mars in his pajamas, and the Orioles are in first place.

No, wait.  One of those stories is real.  Double-you-tee-eff, over.

The O’s were the guests of the Texas Rangers last night in a scenario that must have been the invention of some cruel ESPN-addled crack baby servant of Bud “Darth” Selig.  Brian Burres was the starter for last year’s last meeting between these two teams, which ended in a beheading of epic proportions: the historic 30-3 shellacking at the Yards.  This was a re-do, complete with the same exact pitcher, only moving it to Arlington, Texas for the Rangers’ home opener.  And if anything, the O’s on paper are a worse team.

So of course what should happen but Burres goes six innings scattering seven hits for one solitary run, and the Orioles lay an 8-1 licking on the Rangers for their sixth straight win following their own opening day loss.  It’s loopy, unadulterated madness, and no, it can’t last…but I do intend to savor it for the time being.  Perhaps even moreso than the quick start, it’s also heartening to see them start to develop some personality as a team – playing with the old song “Orioles Magic” in the clubhouse and making light of Aubrey Huff’s off-season disparaging of Baltimore.

The Yards has a fancy new screen for showing the usual replays and such, but I’m told by reliable sources that they only use it to scan the crowd between innings.  We need a good animation or clip to play, one that fits this madness.  I say we use the clip from the movie 300, fresh off the *chans – ‘shop the cap of the opposing team onto the messenger as he stands at the edge of the well in front of Leonidas.  “This is blasphemy!  This is madness!”  “Madness…?  THIS – IS – BALTIMORE!!”  *boot*

Whateverthehell, it’s got to be better than that damned rally monkey.

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2 Responses

  1. I went to an O’s game on Saturday night and watched them beat the Mariners. I agree the new screen looks great. Not as good as the Nats awesome-ness but it looks really good nonetheless.

    And yeah I’m happy that Baltimore is top of the AL East. I just hate that two party system that was going on before with the Red Sox and the Yanks for the past few years. Let’s hope y’all can keep it up!

  2. I don’t think Burres was the starter in the 30 – 3 game. I think Cabrera started, and Burres was one of the — what, 73? — relievers we used that night.

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